As Yet Untitled
by Perky Goth Chik
Summary: What happens when a woman falls for Hawkeye rather than the other way around? (somewhat inspired by "Hey, Look Me Over!")


Disclaimer: I do not own "M*A*S*H" or any of these characters; I just borrowed them for a while, and I will return them in good condition as soon as the story is finished.

"Hey, Hawk, wake up! You gotta see this!"

Hawkeye groaned and halfway opened his eyes. 

"If you aren't Lana Turner, go away before I clobber you," he mumbled into his pillow.

"Suit yourself," said Trapper, "but I just thought you'd like to know about the new nurses that just rolled in."

Hawkeye's lids parted fully and stared at Trapper John.

"Nurses?"

"Yeah!" Trapper walked over to the still and poured some alleged "gin" into two glasses. Handing one to the half-asleep Hawkeye, he stared out the tent flap at the army-green jeep that was unloading.

"Oh good, breakfast," Hawkeye said, sipping the concoction. "Last night was a very good year."

Slowly, he sat up and put his bare feet on the tent floor. His black hair stuck out in every possible direction, and his eye were bleary with sleep.

"Do you suppose we should go offer our services?" Trapper inquired.

"You mean help unload the jeep or something slightly more immoral?" Hawkeye replied, standing up and moving toward the window.

Trapper grinned. "I'm goin' out there. You gonna come or stay here and drown in your hangover?"

"I'm not hungover," Hawkeye said, "just dead."

"Well then, that means all the more for me!" Trapper winked and jogged out the door.

After the tent's door closed, Hawkeye took another sip from the glass, grimaced, and walked over to watch Trapper John.

"What an idiot." Hawkeye smiled. "Just like a kid on Christmas morning."

He hadn't wanted to, but curiosity made him observe the girls getting out of the army vehicle. There were two of them, a brunette and a redhead. They looked as different as night and day. The redhead was tall and lanky with her hair cut short, right below the chin. On the opposite end of the spectrum was the brunette. She was not skinny but rather pleasantly plump, and she was a good four inches shorter than the redhead, even with her hair piled on top of her head. They were both pretty but in very different ways.

After a moment of grappling with his inner self, Hawkeye decided to go out and meet the new nurses. Quickly, he put on a pair of pants and laced up his boots. Without even running a comb through his hair, Hawkeye walked out the tent door toward the jeep.

When he got there, the nurses were preparing to leave, Trapper and Radar carrying their bags.

"And this is Hawkeye," Trapper said, nodding his head in the surgeon's general direction.

"Hawk, these are nurses Melinda Brown and Ellen Watson."

"Hello," Hawkeye said. "So which one is which, or are you interchangeable?"

The redhead smiled and laughed. "I'm Melinda, and this is my friend, Ellen," she said. "Nice to meet you." She stuck out her hand.

Hawkeye took it, grinning and staring into Melinda's big brown eyes. For a moment he forgot what he was doing and shook the nurse's hand for several seconds.

"Uh, Hawkeye?" Nurse Brown said politely.

The daze was broken. "What? Oh, sorry." He withdrew his hand. "Old family custom."

"Right," Nurse Brown said slowly. "Well, I guess we'd better find our tent." She was still eyeing Hawkeye a little warily.

"Sure. Follow me," Radar said. Suddenly he stopped. "Uh-oh."

Hawkeye and Trapper looked worried.

Radar nodded, confirming their suspicions. "Choppers. Lots of 'em."

Within seconds, the whirling helicopters could be heard overhead. As Trapper and Radar rushed the throw the nurses' bags in their tent, a version of the familiar announcement came over the PA system.

"Attention all personnel. Incoming wounded. Don't be without one."

Hawkeye was suddenly very serious.

"Come on," he said to Nurse Brown and Nurse Watson. "You wouldn't want to miss the initiation ceremony." The three began running toward the triage setup. "I'll introduce you to Major Houlihan; she'll tell you what to do."


End file.
